[one of the stories i wrote. i submitted this as an entry for our campus’ literary folio (: NO ILLEGAL COPYING PLEASE. ARIGATOU :*
These Used to be Crimson and Carnation
A cold, starry sky. ..
A silent and heavy night. ..
The feeling is not the same as it happened before. This time, it’s real- no more nightmare. But it’s not heavy inside unlike the past days. Now it feels as light as a feather, as if it is so easy to fly. Yet, the scenario in front of these eyes. .. It causes a feeling of loneliness. Here inside is the eagerness to come back, to run back. .. to regain energy. But it just seem to be so impossible.
A warm, clear sky. ..
A cheerful and nice day. ..
It was summer vacation and the place where I stand was as lonely as my heart. Summer is said to ne the season for romance but the first day of my summer says the season is not really for romance. I said it because that summer, I was alone, sitting alone surrounded by the blossoming and blooming flowers which really looked so happy but, for me, they appeared sad. Back then, I never thought my painful state would ease. My heart was crushed. I told myself never to be close with anyone again for they will just leave me- abandon me. I never wanted to be left alone. Who wants to? No one. ..
Sure it was a fine day for his friends, not for him. He was forced to play and hang with them that hot summer day for the sake of an original copy of a series he badly wants. The game was good but he is still annoyed so he decided to leave the group and find something to drink. The vending machine stands few feet away from where I was standing. I didn’t really intend to look at him but there is something in him that my normal vision wants to check and it cannot be satisfied with just my peripheral vision. I gave him a glance. He was, surprisingly, glancing at me as well. Awkward. .. We both looked away and he left. Then, I only saw darkness.
The birds chirping outside made me open my eyes from a deep slumber. I didn’t know what happened but I saw him beside the bed where I was laying. He has a smile on his face. I was stunned. .. A stranger, a smiling stranger, was in front of me. That moment. .. That moment was different.
Time seemed to slip by so fast. That guy and I became good friends. Without any formalities, we started hanging out together. My summer started to be a summer of love. I ate all, everything, which I said about summer being unromantic. He and I. .. We fell in love with each other. A sudden love. .. It was “happiness”. He liked making me laugh and smile. He said he love seeing how red my cheeks could be when I chuckle or giggle. I was driven away by him. I was driven away with this so- called “summer romance”.
Nonetheless, seasons are seasons. Like people, events and other things, it come and go. Summer ended. I think things fell out of our hands. Everything ceased between us. I was lost from his sight. I guess he also lost me from within him. No more talks, no more seeing each other. .. No more laughing. .. No more smiles and red cheeks. No more upward curves on the cherry lips. Sadness. .. Almost like pain. But there is one thing more painful. .. This one, I cannot escape. I cannot hide this pain with smiles. Even concealers won’t work. It drains. .. It hurts. .. I decided to leave and dwell alone. No one deserves to see a great bloom that suddenly started to wither. The real pain behind all the pains I used to have that summer before I met him has returned. Now, worse. ..
I never heard of the chirping birds again. ..
I never saw the blooming flowers again. ..
I never felt the warm summer again. ..
I never sang my song of love to him again. ..
Never will anything again. .. Never again. .. Never.
The feeling is not the same as it happened before. I already feel so light. No more pains inside. I can make a real smile if I would want to. But this guy, this guy with tears falling from his eyes that stands beside me. .. This guy is here again. If only I knew he would never forget. ..
My coldness embraced his warmth.